xmasons.com - 2000.oct.07

The end of a passionate relationship is just plain destructive. The time in your life when you really need someone at your side telling you, "Everything will be okay." Of course this won't happen because that person just left. Maybe on a grand scale it just makes you more self reliant. Or bitter. Hopefully it doesn't toughen up the soul too hard where you start thinking that you never want to be in another relationship again. It just seems so damned bleak though, as if you will never find another person to spend your life with again.

I have always enjoyed the accompaniment of that someone special next to me in bed. Watching them fall asleep or that moment when they open their eyes in the morning. A truly magical experience that gets played out every day. I don't think I will ever tire of that little pleasure. However, when they are gone, it feels so weird as if your arm or another limb has mysteriously vanished. Even if this isn't a permanent situation, such as a business trip, your bed never seemed so large before.

I keep finding myself still sleeping on one side, as if there was still someone on the other side. Some day I will just plop down right in the middle and sprawl out. Hmm, sleep.


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